Two Designers + An Energy Healer + A Biz Coach + A Celebrity Makeup Artist + A Perfumier
I hope you had a chance to delve into the precious gems and gold of these women featured in my #iAmHer360 series. If you've missed any of them click this link for the playlist: #iAmHer360.
"I take life as it's given to me and I think that
has made me a really happy person."
S H A R M I L A V A R A D A R A J A N
#iAmHer360 speaks to seeing other women as yourself and the celebration of every way that any woman chooses to express herself. Today we continue with another chat in the #iAmHer360: SuperWomen & Goddesses Series with Indian-born Sharmila Varadarajan. Across the seas from Chicago to India while she's on holiday.
After an arranged marriage by her parents in her homeland, Sharmila came to America twenty years ago with an education in Cardiac Rehabilitation & Exercise Science. Although she looks twenty-five, she's actually been happily married to her perfect man for twenty-five years.
I'm suspecting she may be a vampire. ;o)
We met at a mutual friend's women's luncheon where pretty much all the women in attendance were married . . . happily for decades. I was inspired and excited that this was even possible in this day and age. Like-minded women who come together on a regular basis to bond.
Love . . . Indian Style
T H E C H A T H I G H L I G H T S
On Life's Rough Patches
"Life is just beautiful. It's taken such a nice path...
it's given me a lot of mental strength, even though certain patches were rough I think that gave strength.
So I took the strength instead of the negativity from that."
No Children but . . .
"I accept that this is how my life is so I'm going to take it as it's given to me and I think that has made me a really happy person."
On Getting Outside Your Circle
"I try to read, try to listen to people, see the world and their outlook.
This has changed me quite a bit. I see if you only stay in a circle you only know that, but if you move outside or travel and see the world, the people out there, you learn so much.
There's so much out there which we hardly know. We just know a bit of it."
Her Motto On Caring For Self First
"I take care of myself first. The "inner me" is what I think the beauty for every woman is and we need to take care of that part. If that's taken care of I think the outside beauty comes automatically and I truly believe in that. It's inside first. Working in cardiac rehabilitation, I believe in prevention. Whatever is in store for us, that will be there, whatever God has given us. But our duty is to take care of this body. We need to cherish that first and everything else will just follow.
Her Advice For Women To Be In Relationships Where They Feel Cherished & Appreciated
"First of all any marriage at the beginning needs a lot of work,
understanding, love, care - all that has to be done.
"You just have to stand up for each other's likings or give respect, space. I truly, truly believe in that. If my husband wants to do something I don't discourage him, I say "Please go for it!"
That way, he has his space and I have my space. I believe that's truly the success of the marriage.
I have not stopped him and then we have our time. There's his time, my time and our time. It can't just be our time, all the time. It's just not possible. I think everybody needs a space where you have to think how do you evolve as a person all along and not be there in the person's face all the time.
I think that's one of the best things I've found in our relationship which has worked just magically.
I tell my husband to "go enjoy and then you can come back and we'll be together. Whatever you want to do, go for it!" He gives me my space and I give him his space and then we do a lot of things together. We travel a lot, we talk about everything pretty much, our day-today things. That's probably what has kept our marriage going from my end, but if you ask my husband he would probably say a different thing."
On Resolving Conflicts, Confrontations, Confusion
"If there is anything that bothers us, we would talk and settle it right then and there that night and not carry it over and spoil the next day because today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow. If in this moment it didn't work, clarify it and get it over with, like today, not carry it over tomorrow and feel bad for it, argue about it, fight about it, nag about it. I just can't do that."
On The Benefits Of Arranged Marriage
"The difference about our gathering of friends is that it is a group of culturally like-minded
women coming together. The roots of it are important, that's where we all come from, where
the roots are much more stronger. That's probably where we're all coming from. We're all educated. It was an arranged marriage for us, as it was with my parents and grandparents.
You kind of accept the person completely, there's no choice after all. You have to adjust, forgive...that's what we've been taught. It goes both ways. We all have good men in our life
and that is a blessing. It's all give and take, that's what they taught us.
We are happy with what we have and we try to make what we have better all the time."
On Respect, Support & Hardship
"There's a lot of closeness because we are away from home and we like to hang onto each other because it's the only family you've got. When you're away from home you kind of understand the person more because you've gone through hardship a lot more without anybody's support. Because you're away from home the only support you have is your husband, or your wife. So you start building respect for each other over a period of time is what I've found. We've encouraged each other during hardships. We've seen in and out of each other without anybody else being there so I think that creates a very strong bond."
Thanks for reading and listening.
♡ ☆ ♀
Day 8 of 12/13 Moons